This photo is definitely a bit different than what I typically post. This wasn't for the gram or adding to my portfolio of dishes. I know it sounds crazy but it was just for me. This was just a regular dinner. This regular dinner paired exclusively with some trash reality tv or something on Disney+ is an act of self-care and love.
Often we think self-care is a "me day" of pampering, shopping, or being lazy doing nothing at all. While these things are important (and mostly just fun) this isn't self-care. The pampering will end at some point, you may become bored with the items you bought, and the series you are binging will come to an end. All of these things will come to an end.
Self-care should never have an endpoint. Considering we wake up each morning day after day, the love we have for ourselves shouldn't stop and start. This basic a** meal is a bold act of love. It is love because in 2019 I realized I spent my days feeding other people and I forgot to eat. In 2019, I prepped beautiful healthy meals and stopped by a drive-through on the way home from work. How often do find yourself doing everything for everyone but you've done nothing for yourself?
When Christmas time came my burnout was real. However, it was only then I realized it was burnout because, to be honest, I had been running on fumes for a while. When I couldn't charge full steam ahead, naturally I internalized this as a personal problem because I wasn't good enough.
A past version of myself would have continued to do the most, inhale a long drag of denial and refuse to admit I had a first-class seat on the struggle bus. 2019 Daz was a hot mess. BUT 2019 Daz was also a smidge more mature... blah blah counseling... blah blah journaling... blah blah self-reflection. I was annoyed at myself for letting this happen again.
And then it hit me like a ton of bricks!!! I lacked consistency and a commitment to myself. The love I poured into my work and others was nowhere to be found in myself. I dealt with so many other things in my life because I thought it would be easier than dealing with Dazore. It's an incredibly bad habit to be self-sacrificing for some mysterious greater good. To anyone who feels guilty doing something for themselves or makes excuses for denying themselves of basic -ish that they want, please check your ticket and find your seat on the bus. I hope you brought snacks and a seatbelt because this is more of a Spirit Airlines experience.
It's a new year. Whether you believe in making resolutions or not, how do you plan to prove to yourself that you matter and come first? For the people in the back when will you realize that you do matter and should always come first? My bold act of self-love is cooking for myself and allowing myself to enjoy the process and eating without being rushed.